クリーニング店で自殺予告メモを発見

クリーニング店の店員が、出し忘れはないかとジャケットのポケットを探っていると、1枚のメモが。そこには、こう書いてありました。

“You have committed a murder, but no one believes it. All I can do is kill myself, then everyone will see what you have done. Your wife, Alice.”
「あなたは人を殺したのに、誰も信じてくれない。私にできるのは、自分の命を絶つことだけ。そしたら皆、分かってくれるでしょう。 妻アリス」

殺人の示唆に自殺の予告。青くなった店員は、あわてて通報します。警察がジャケットの持ち主を訪ねると、出てきたのは劇団員だと言う男性。あれ、ひょっとして・・・

このメモ、演劇の小道具だったそうで。
今回は私が無理に落ちをつけるまでもなさそうです。


今日のワンポイント
All I can do is (to) do

「私にできるのは ...することだけ、私には ...することしかできない」
All I can do is wait.
「私にできるのは、待つことだけ」


本日の記事、お気に召しましたら、クリックをお恵みください
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Dry cleaners find the darnedest things
記事URL
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この記事へのコメント

2006年10月02日 14:53
ご訪問ありがとうございました。
相互リンクもありがとうございます。
All I can do is・・・は使える表現ですね。
いつも興味深いニュースを取り上げられていて楽しめる&勉強になります。
また伺います!
2006年10月03日 00:47
ロゼさん、いらっしゃいませ。うちの子はすでにコテコテのジャパニーズ発音なので、うらやましい限りです。ふつうのリンクのほうにも貼ってもらえたようで、かたじけのうございます!こちらにも設置しますね。
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2014年06月25日 14:32
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
2014年06月25日 15:05
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
2014年06月25日 15:38
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
2014年06月25日 15:51
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
2014年06月25日 18:42
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
2014年06月25日 20:05
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
2014年06月25日 21:11
If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism and polls and principles, come and join this campaign.
2014年06月26日 00:56
If we knew what it was we were doing, it would not be called research, would it?
2014年06月26日 01:23
You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
2014年06月26日 02:05
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
2014年06月26日 02:26
Cholesterol is your natural defence against excessive circulation of blood, which can carry venoms, poisons and other toxins around your body.
2014年06月26日 03:38
Oh for pity's sake. HERE. Two pebbles. Two more pebbles. FOUR pebbles. What is WRONG with you people?
2014年06月26日 04:41
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
2014年06月26日 06:53
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
2014年06月26日 07:47
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
2014年06月26日 08:05
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
2014年06月26日 08:06
I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.
2014年06月26日 08:24
Politically Correct UNIX System VI Release notes
2014年06月26日 08:41
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
2014年06月26日 16:56
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
2014年06月26日 17:29
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
2014年06月26日 19:20
Death is a low chemical trick played on everybody except sequoia trees.
2014年06月26日 20:29
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
2014年06月26日 20:53
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
2014年06月26日 21:56
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
2014年06月27日 01:08
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
2014年06月27日 01:47
As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
2014年06月27日 01:53
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
2014年06月27日 01:53
Pascal /n./ A programming language named after a man who would turn over in his grave if he knew about it.
2014年06月27日 03:11
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
2014年06月27日 04:35
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
2014年06月27日 10:11
The Stones, I love the Stones. I watch them whenever I can. Fred, Barney...
2014年06月27日 12:20
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
2014年06月27日 13:26
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
2014年06月27日 14:47
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
2014年06月27日 21:29
A lady came up to me on the street, pointed at my suede jacket and said, 'Don't you know a cow was murdered for that jacket?' I said 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too'.
2014年06月27日 22:23
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
2014年06月27日 22:23
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
2014年06月27日 23:18
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
2014年06月28日 01:11
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
2014年06月28日 02:50
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
2014年06月28日 06:47
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
2014年06月28日 07:05
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
2014年06月28日 07:38
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
2014年06月28日 08:29
In this war ツ�as in others ツ�I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
2014年06月28日 16:17
Ah well, then I suppose I shall have to die beyond my means.
2014年06月28日 16:23
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
2014年06月28日 18:11
Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog. Few people are interested and the frog dies of it.
2014年06月28日 21:08
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
2014年06月28日 21:08
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
2014年06月28日 21:35
Computer dating is fine, if you're a computer.
2014年06月29日 03:14
Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
2014年06月29日 10:05
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
2014年06月29日 10:05
If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
2014年06月29日 10:05
In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
2014年06月29日 10:23
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
2014年06月29日 10:23
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
2014年06月29日 10:29
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
2014年06月29日 10:50
It's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go 'aaaaagghhhh' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
2014年06月29日 13:53
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
2014年06月29日 14:41
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
2014年06月29日 17:32
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
2014年06月29日 23:23
If electricity comes from electrons, does that mean that morality comes from morons?
2014年06月29日 23:59
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
2014年06月30日 04:05
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
2014年06月30日 04:08
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
2014年06月30日 08:35
Throughout American history, the government has said we're in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It's a hoax.
2014年06月30日 10:05
Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
2014年06月30日 10:26
A hen is only an eggツ痴 way of making another egg.
2014年06月30日 12:05
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
2014年06月30日 12:11
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
2014年06月30日 16:51
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
2014年06月30日 18:23
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
2014年06月30日 19:56
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
2014年06月30日 20:05
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
2014年06月30日 23:50
Go on, get out. Last words are for fools who haven't said enough.
2014年06月30日 23:50
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.
2014年07月01日 00:54
Maybe this world is another planet's Hell.
2014年07月01日 01:47
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where she is!
2014年07月01日 02:23
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
2014年07月01日 07:23
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
2014年07月01日 08:23
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
2014年07月01日 10:17
Elegance is not a dispensable luxury but a factor that decides between success and failure.
2014年07月01日 12:50
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
2014年07月01日 15:29
Early to rise, Early to bed, Makes a man healthy but socially dead.
2014年07月01日 15:29
The cry has been that when war is declared, all opposition should be hushed. A sentiment more unworthy of a free country could hardly be propagated.
2014年07月01日 16:39
The optimist proclaims that we live in the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist fears this is true.
2014年07月01日 17:41
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
2014年07月01日 18:14
Barabテ。si's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do ツ�whether it is correct or not.
2014年07月01日 18:29
The chain reaction of evil -- wars producing more wars -- must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
2014年07月01日 20:08
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
2014年07月01日 20:17
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
2014年07月01日 22:47
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
2014年07月01日 22:56
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
2014年07月02日 01:35
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
2014年07月02日 07:26
O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
2014年07月02日 08:50
I'd stop eating chocolate, but I'm no quitter.
2014年07月02日 08:56
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
2014年07月02日 10:23
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
2014年07月02日 13:50
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
2014年07月02日 19:41
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
2014年07月02日 19:53
The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.
2014年07月02日 20:32
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
2014年07月02日 22:53
There is no sincerer love than the love of food.
2014年07月03日 00:38
Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.
2014年07月03日 02:08
Just because bulldozers are used to build highways doesn't mean bulldozers are the best way to travel on a highway.
2014年07月03日 02:53
I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial.
2014年07月03日 03:05
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
2014年07月03日 07:35
The nice thing about egotists is that they don't talk about other people.
2014年07月03日 07:41
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
2014年07月03日 10:20
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
2014年07月03日 11:35
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
2014年07月03日 12:38
There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home.
2014年07月03日 13:59
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
2014年07月03日 16:05
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts.
2014年07月03日 16:05
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
2014年07月03日 17:29
All our knowledge merely helps us to die a more painful death than animals that know nothing.
2014年07月03日 19:26
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
2014年07月03日 19:26
If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.
2014年07月03日 20:14
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
2014年07月03日 20:17
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
2014年07月03日 21:05
Emulate your heros, but don't carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
2014年07月03日 21:32
I shall not waste my days in trying to prolong them.
2014年07月03日 22:29
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
2014年07月03日 22:53
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
2014年07月04日 01:23
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
2014年07月04日 02:50
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
2014年07月04日 08:20
Happiness is good health and a bad memory.
2014年07月04日 10:32
We all agree that your theory is crazy, but is it crazy enough?
2014年07月04日 11:06
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
2014年07月04日 11:11
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
2014年07月04日 11:50
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
2014年07月04日 12:29
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
2014年07月04日 12:41
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
2014年07月04日 12:41
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
2014年07月04日 12:41
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
2014年07月04日 14:50
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are.
2014年07月04日 18:05
A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both.
2014年07月04日 23:50
If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough.
2014年07月05日 01:53
They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
2014年07月05日 01:53
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
2014年07月05日 08:06
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
2014年07月05日 10:38
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
2014年07月05日 10:51
When I am working on a problem I never think about beauty. I only think about how to solve the problem. But when I have finished, if the solution is not beautiful, I know it is wrong.
2014年07月05日 11:41
It is practically imposible to teach good programming to students that have had a prior exposure to BASIC: as potential programmers they are mentally mutilated beyond hope of regeneration.
2014年07月05日 11:50
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
2014年07月05日 12:44
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
2014年07月05日 13:50
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
2014年07月05日 14:33
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
2014年07月05日 14:56
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
2014年07月05日 20:29
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
2014年07月05日 20:36
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
2014年07月05日 20:47
Minsky's Second Law: Don't just do something. Stand there.
2014年07月05日 21:00
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
2014年07月06日 02:26
Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
2014年07月06日 02:29
I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves.
2014年07月06日 03:14
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
2014年07月06日 04:05
We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out.
2014年07月06日 12:35
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
2014年07月06日 12:54
Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.
2014年07月06日 15:32
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
2014年07月06日 16:20
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
2014年07月06日 17:57
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
2014年07月06日 18:23
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
2014年07月06日 19:33
For centuries, theologians have been explaining the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
2014年07月07日 07:53
Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler.
2014年07月07日 13:05
Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do!
2014年07月08日 01:15
A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
2014年07月08日 01:32
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
2014年07月08日 01:40
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
2014年07月08日 02:05
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
2014年07月08日 02:06
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
2014年07月08日 02:06
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
2014年07月08日 02:33
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
2014年07月08日 02:41
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn't have an air force.
2014年07月08日 04:38
Men have become the tools of their tools.
2014年07月08日 05:11
If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.
2014年07月08日 05:34
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
2014年07月08日 05:37
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
2014年07月08日 06:08
From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
2014年07月08日 06:42
For if he like a madman lived, At least he like a wise one died.
2014年07月08日 08:47
Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed.
2014年07月08日 09:08
What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
2014年07月08日 10:20
The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting.
2014年07月08日 11:05
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
2014年07月08日 12:47
Smith & Wesson ツ�the original point and click interface.
2014年07月08日 12:56
Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF All my base are belong to you!
2014年07月08日 19:05
Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain - and most fools do.
2014年07月08日 20:08
Everything secret degenerates, even the administration of justice.
2014年07月08日 20:20
Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
2014年07月08日 20:41
Write a wise word and your name will live forever.
2014年07月08日 20:41
A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog up and starts swinging it around his head. Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out: 'Can I help, sir?' 'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'
2014年07月08日 20:56
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
2014年07月08日 22:41
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
2014年07月08日 22:47
You have a cough? Go home tonight, eat a whole box of Ex-Lax -- tomorrow you'll be afraid to cough.
2014年07月08日 22:59
War is not the continuation of politics with different means, it is the greatest mass-crime perpetrated on the community of man.
2014年07月08日 23:08
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
2014年07月09日 03:35
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
2014年07月09日 08:35
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
2014年07月09日 08:35
Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions.
2014年07月09日 09:05
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
2014年07月09日 11:29
To err is human, but to really foul things up you need a computer.
2014年07月09日 12:08
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
2014年07月09日 18:44
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.
2014年07月09日 19:00
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
2014年07月09日 19:15
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
2014年07月09日 19:31
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That's where we come in; we're computer professionals. We cause accidents.
2014年07月09日 19:46
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
2014年07月09日 20:02
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
2014年07月09日 20:08
Jesus may love you, but I think you're garbage wrapped in skin.
2014年07月09日 20:33
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
2014年07月09日 20:48
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
2014年07月09日 20:50
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
2014年07月09日 21:04
I have an existential map; it has 'you are here' written all over it.
2014年07月09日 21:35
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he'd lie just to keep his hand in.
2014年07月10日 00:32
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
2014年07月10日 02:11
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
2014年07月10日 09:05
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
2014年07月10日 09:29
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
2014年07月10日 11:01
I Can't Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don't Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
2014年07月10日 11:48
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
2014年07月10日 12:03
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
2014年07月10日 12:05
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
2014年07月10日 12:06
Giving birth is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.
2014年07月10日 12:35
Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
2014年07月10日 12:41
There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?
2014年07月10日 12:50
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
2014年07月10日 13:06
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I'll waste no time reading it.
2014年07月10日 13:47
I don't approve of political jokes... I've seen too many of them get elected.
2014年07月10日 13:47
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
2014年07月10日 16:50
We need either less corruption or more chance to participate in it.
2014年07月10日 18:20
Machine. Unexpectedly, I'd invented a time
2014年07月10日 21:47
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
2014年07月10日 23:05
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
2014年07月11日 01:09
Sex is like air. It's only a big deal if you can't get any.
2014年07月11日 04:08
I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
2014年07月11日 04:53
If you are going through hell, keep going.
2014年07月11日 14:41
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
2014年07月11日 15:12
I'm trying to see things from your point of view but I can't get my head that far up my ass.
2014年07月11日 16:29
Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something.
2014年07月11日 20:35
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
2014年07月12日 07:09
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
2014年07月12日 21:32
The first half of our life is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.
2014年07月13日 08:35
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
2014年07月15日 03:13
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
2014年07月15日 03:29
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
2014年07月15日 03:44
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
2014年07月15日 03:59
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
2014年07月15日 04:30
Defining and analyzing humor is a pastime of humorless people.
2014年07月15日 04:46
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
2014年07月15日 05:01
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
2014年07月15日 06:50
The true measure of a man is how he treats someone who can do him absolutely no good.
2014年07月16日 01:05
Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons.
2014年07月16日 01:53
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
2014年07月16日 01:53
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent's eye, that charms to destroy...
2014年07月16日 02:13
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
2014年07月16日 02:22
We didn't lose the game; we just ran out of time.
2014年07月16日 02:29
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
2014年07月16日 02:36
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a 'C', the idea must be feasible.
2014年07月16日 02:39
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
2014年07月16日 02:42
To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
2014年07月16日 02:56
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
2014年07月16日 03:01
Ketchup left overnight on dinner plates has a longer half-life than radioactive waste.
2014年07月16日 03:07
A friendship founded on business is better than a business founded on friendship.
2014年07月16日 04:36
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
2014年07月16日 04:53
Many a man's reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
2014年07月16日 06:35
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
2014年07月16日 06:44
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
2014年07月16日 07:35
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
2014年07月16日 07:38
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action.
2014年07月16日 08:14
If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance.
2014年07月16日 08:14
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
2014年07月16日 09:05
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.
2014年07月16日 11:05
Don't be so humble - you are not that great.
2014年07月16日 11:36
I agree with the reforms, but I want nothing to change
2014年07月16日 12:47
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
2014年07月16日 13:08
Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
2014年07月16日 14:05
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
2014年07月16日 16:05
Whatever is begun in anger ends in shame.
2014年07月16日 17:47
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
2014年07月16日 18:20
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
2014年07月16日 19:20
Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
2014年07月16日 21:05
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
2014年07月16日 21:23
Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them.
2014年07月16日 22:11
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
2014年07月16日 22:56
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
2014年07月16日 23:21
Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.
2014年07月17日 00:29
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
2014年07月17日 00:35
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
2014年07月17日 07:05
Each problem that I solved became a rule which served afterwards to solve other problems.
2014年07月17日 07:08
What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think, vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.
2014年07月17日 07:32
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
2014年07月17日 09:45
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
2014年07月17日 10:08
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don't have it.
2014年07月17日 12:05
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
2014年07月17日 12:20
I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.
2014年07月17日 13:50
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
2014年07月17日 13:53
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you've got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn't your biggest problem.
2014年07月17日 16:32
Beware of computer programmers that carry screwdrivers.
2014年07月17日 20:29
The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
2014年07月17日 22:05
Men are not disturbed by things, but the view they take of things.
2014年07月17日 22:56
A good sermon should be like a woman's skirt: short enough to arouse interest but long enough to cover the essentials.
2014年07月18日 01:53
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn't cure.
2014年07月18日 07:05
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don't think.
2014年07月18日 07:35
We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
2014年07月18日 08:44
Manuscript: something submitted in haste and returned at leisure.
2014年07月18日 08:57
Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
2014年07月18日 09:20
Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
2014年07月18日 11:29
I hate those men who would send into war youth to fight and die for them; the pride and cowardice of those old men, making their wars that boys must die.
2014年07月18日 12:41
Multitasking /adj./ 3 PCs and a chair with wheelsツ�
2014年07月18日 13:29
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
2014年07月18日 15:08
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
2014年07月18日 17:08
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
2014年07月18日 17:09
I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
2014年07月18日 21:47
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
2014年07月18日 23:05
If you take something apart and put it back together again enough times, you will eventually have enough parts left over to build a second one.
2014年07月18日 23:59
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
2014年07月19日 00:44
If FORTRAN has been called an infantile disorder, then PL/I must be classified as a fatal disease.
2014年07月19日 00:45
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
2014年07月19日 03:11
Everybody's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: stop participating in it.
2014年07月19日 03:11
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
2014年07月19日 05:05
Am I lightheaded because I'm not dead or because I'm still alive?
2014年07月19日 06:00
He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
2014年07月19日 06:32
Modern capitalism is not about free markets, it is about building sufficient mass that the market gravitationally collapses around you.
2014年07月19日 07:20
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
2014年07月19日 08:47
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me.
2014年07月19日 08:47
The bureaucracy is expanding to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.
2014年07月19日 08:59
Gravity cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.
2014年07月19日 11:05
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
2014年07月19日 11:32
We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

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